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To forgive may be divine, but no one ever said it was easy. When someone has deeply hurt you, it can be extremely difficult to let go of your grudge. But forgiveness is possible -- and it can be surprisingly beneficial to your physical and mental health.
"People who forgive show less depression, anger and stress and more hopefulness," says Frederic, Ph.D., author of Forgive for Good. "So it can help save on the wear and tear on our organs, reduce the wearing out of the immune system and allow people to feel more vital."
So how do you start the healing? Try following these steps:
Calm yourself. To defuse your anger, try a simple stress-management technique. "Take a couple of breaths and think of something that gives you pleasure: a beautiful scene in nature, someone you love," Frederic says.
Don't wait for an apology. "Many times the person who hurt you has no intention of apologizing," Frederic says. "They may have wanted to hurt you or they just don't see things the same way. So if you wait for people to apologize, you could be waiting an awfully long time." Keep in mind that forgiveness does not necessarily mean reconciliation with the person who upset you or condoning of his or her action.
Take the control away from your offender. Mentally replaying your hurt gives power to the person who caused you pain. "Instead of focusing on your wounded feelings, learn to look for the love, beauty and kindness around you," Frederic says.
Try to see things from the other person's perspective. If you empathize with that person, you may realize that he or she was acting out of ignorance, fear -- even love. To gain perspective, you may want to write a letter to yourself from your offender's point of view.
Recognize the benefits of forgiveness. Research has shown that people who forgive report more energy, better appetite and better sleep patterns.
Don't forget to forgive yourself. "For some people, forgiving themselves is the biggest challenge," Frederic says. "But it can rob you of your self-confidence if you don't do it."
China’s economy, the world’s fourth largest, expanded at the fastest pace in 11 years in 2006. The central bank raised interest rates in April and August and last month ordered banks to set aside more money as reserves for the fifth time in eight months to rein in the money supply.
The trade surplus surged nine-fold in February from a year earlier to $23.76 billion, the second highest on record. Money supply grew 17.8 percent, the most in six months. Inflation accelerated to 2.7 percent from 2.2 percent in January. Record overseas sales pump cash into China’s financial system, raising the risk of property and stock bubbles. The trade surplus in 2006 was $177.5 billion.
Chinese stocks have touched record highs this year and also had the steepest decline in a decade. Growth in urban fixed-asset investment declined to 24.5 percent for all of 2006 from 31.3 percent for the first six months. Still, the slowing of loans and spending is "not stable," Ma cautioned in January. China’s economy expanded 10.7 percent last year. Gross domestic product increased 10.4 percent in the fourth quarter, slower than the previous three months and down from the second quarter’s decade high of 11.5 percent.